When did those edible arrangements become so popular? Now if they could make one out of various meats that would be outrageous. Like lilac steaks, chicken roses, daisy porkchops, morning breath bacon etc... Only a few more days before solids, I feel like a baby sucking at the teat and will soon be introduced to creamed potatoes or something. Crawl before you ball I suppose.
This is day 9. Feel pretty great even though I woke up again at 3am to eliminate. I have been catching the tail end of the Giants midnight replay the past few nights. Imagine sitting on the can listening to the dulcet tones of Jon Miller, Dave Fleming, Duane Kuiper & Mike Krukow. Go Giants! Anyways, this time around I got right back to sleep easily and woke up early enough to do my salt water flush. After a few butt pisses I was on my way. A full workday, 64oz of lemonade and a 4 mile run later, I'm feeling stupendous.
Whats got me through this is knowing that Beyonce Knowles also did the master cleanse. Just picture Beyonce drinking senna tea and waking up in the middle of the night to take a crap! Hilarious! Also picture a Beyonce in a flowing red carpet gown doing the salt water flush and running to the restroom to take butt pisses! HAHAHA!!! If celebrities can do it why not us 'normal' folks? No personal assistant can make the process any easier and those celebs are mostly bitches anyways! What a relief.
Another observation I've made is that I have super smelling capabilities. Like super powers. Super mutant genetically engineered powers. There is a stretch on highway 880 southbound between the Brokaw Road exit and the highway 101 junction that smells like the inside of a Togo's. This also means that the stretch of 880 past the McCarthy Ranch into Milpitas smells even worse than the dump that it is. So yeah, super powers. Too bad having the super power of smell pretty much puts me at the bottom of the super hero totem pole. If I were in a super hero super group like the SuperFriends I would be Aquaman. Totally the weakest link, the ability to talk to sea horses???
I won't be taking the senna tea this evening in the hope that I can get more than 4 hours of straight sleep. Salt water flush is a must however, either or.
Todays cravings, Vietnamese spring rolls, a spicy peanut sauce, baked macaroni and asparagus.
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